Okay. I just want to write about anxiety and depression for a little bit.

I have Social Avoidance Disorder - or social anxiety. It was pretty severe and I couldn’t even talk to people on here. I hated myself and was embarrassed to want to look good. I didn’t want any attention at all. I was afraid to go to school, ffs. Terrified. I couldn’t get a job and I lost contact with all of my friends. I was just. stuck. 

I finally decided to see a doctor about it because i needed to get my life in order. I started medication and oh my fucking god, I am SO much better. I got a job (well - volunteer work. but I couldn’t even do that before so.) I applied to school (AND I’M GOING!!!), I’m not scared to try on clothes or show off my body. At family events I actually sit with my family instead of hiding in a room by myself. 

If you think you have any kind of anxiety or depression - do not feel embarrassed about it, please. Don’t. It is NOT your fault. It’s not something you have any control over at all. Not all medication will work for you. That will not be an automatic fix for everyone. Don’t be scared to look around for therapists, different therapies or various ways of helping yourself.

This is not a post telling you what to do. This is a post to let you know that you are fine and that there’s nothing wrong with the way you’re feeling. Do whatever you have to do at your own pace. It took me 4 years to get everything sorted out. Take longer if you have too! Take a week! It doesn’t matter. Just know that you aren’t to blame. 

I love every single one of you and you’re all perfect.